


You Belong to Me

by Freddyblack



Category: Berserk (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Griffith wins the duel, M/M, My First Fanfic, Not Beta Read, POV Griffith (Berserk)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:28:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24180586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freddyblack/pseuds/Freddyblack
Summary: Griffith wins the duel that day in the snow.
Relationships: Griffith/Guts (Berserk)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 68





	You Belong to Me

I had won and for the first time that was a shock. Guts was laying in the snow his blood running smoothly across the white sheet. For those minutes during the fight I felt myself losing control and a darkness creeping in engulfing me. In the end it was that madness that let me win. That gave me courage to strike the final blow that could very well have been Guts’ harbinger of death. I don’t feel guilt. Either he stays with me or he dies. There is no other option .Not since the day he was fated to meet me. I don’t want to think what would have happened if I had lost. It would be a crushing and humiliating to be defeated in front of my men. If he had walked away from me fading into the darkness leaving me in the cold snow -

I know I said that I would keep my word. That if he struck me first I would let him go and there is sound logic to it. There is no point in forcing someone who is stronger then you to follow you as that would risk mutiny, but Guts is the exception. He is always the exception. I carried him over my shoulder and could immediately feel his warm blood staining my clothes. They were made from the finest silk. It may seem like a frivols expense, but appearance matters, especially in court. A king can’t be dressed in a street rat’s clothes. It had taken me three major battles to save up. They were skirmishes between minor lords but they were important for building up my reputation and my army. In those days I didn’t command the huge army with the finest weaponry and armour, but I still won every single battle. And out of all the battles I have fought to advance my position and bring me closer to my dream this one is the one that is most important. The only question I need to answer now is why? .Why was I letting him ruin my clothes? Letting him see me at my darkest moments, parts I’ve never showed anyone before- letting him take over my thoughts and obsessing over him. Maybe asking him to assassinate the prince and his son , allowing him to witness my plan of burning the queen made him see the monster I truly am .Maybe that is why he chose to leave. That doesn’t make sense though. Guts understand what has to be done in order to achieve my dream. He understands that this world isn’t idealistic and good men never win. He even said so himself that I could do with him as I please. That day where I had first won him was on top of a hilltop that was luscious green. The sun was pouring down on us and I was mesmerised by this wild creature called Guts. He was only 14 and I was four years his elder. The battle was still challenging and he thought dirty. Guts pushed us both down the hill then punched me in the face calling me a useless pretty boy . Well I couldn’t let that insult slide so I dislocated his shoulder. Even though Guts was the most challenging opponent I faced in my life I was still cretin that I would win. I had more experience however I could never compare to his ferociousness. It feels shameful to admit to such a weakness but there is no point in lying to yourself as it will cause you the greatest harm . He was an untameable beast on the battlefield .I saw him charging at Bazusou who had previously killed ten soldiers like they were nothing more than stacks of hay. This didn’t scare Guts though. Disregarding his life he charged straight at him and plunged his sword straight through Bazusou’s heart then tore him in half. He then walked away as if nothing had happened. He acted as if his blood splattered sword was an apparition and nothing to concern himself with. He was more concerned with the gold offered to him biting it to make sure it was real. This was why I wanted Guts to be a part of the Hawks and to fight for me. I wanted him to be a weapon which I could use to tear apart anything that stood in the way of my dream. I thought he would be easy to control with money and food and most importantly given opportunity to use his sword. However now I am not so sure. Our relationship hasn’t been clear-cut for a long time. Not since the day when I charged recklessly through the Gates to save him. The gates where many of my men were slain . It is clear we cannot go back to our previous camaraderie. Our relationship has irrevocably changed. But Guts is still mine. He still belongs to me . 

I could feel his weak breathing on my neck which is good. He is still alive. I focused on that instead. None of the Hawks had spoken. They were frozen like statues. I don’t think they had ever seen me so full of emotion. I always made sure to keep a calm façade of someone who is always in control around them. Most people when they look at me think that I am harmless and that I am only pretending. They are sorely mistaken and they end up paying for their ignorance with death, but that doesn’t mean that the fairy tale prince persona cannot be advantageous. It is thanks to this persona that most of the hawks worship me. The fire of my dream engulfs theirs. They are willing to die for me and I accept their sacrifice. The road to the castle becomes paved with more sculls .That is just how it has to be. I never cared for their sacrifice. They are soldiers and facing death is their job. They have chosen to follow me. While they know that I am the one with the strategic plans and that I am the one that leads us into battle they can’t quit seem to harmonise the idea of a silver haired prince with images of bloodlust. Most of the hawks have never seen me so vicious. Not like Guts. They are free to live to leave .Guts is not. “You should all go back to the ball and tell the king that my general has been attacked by bandits and is severely hurt . Tell them that it is a matter of urgency I attend to him”.

“Griffith you don’t have to do that. I understand that this ball is important in cultivating closer ties with the King. I can take care of him. After all it is a women’s duty to care” said Casca. This took me by surprise, but I didn’t let it show on my face. When had Casca started being amicable with Guts volunteering to care for him? From the looks of it she may even have some tender feelings for him. How could I have missed such a big development within my army? I am usually aware of everything that happens in the Hawks. Dose Guts reciprocate ? I felt the fear and anger creep in again at that thought. I tightened my hold on Guts and carried on briskly walking away from them. “It’s fine. I was the one who dealt the damage therefore I should be the one to take care of him. He is my solider. Once I have cleaned him up I will call for a physician.”   
It seems I have been away from the Hawks for too long. I hadn’t noticed Gut’s desire to leave nor Casca’s change of heart towards Guts. It also seemed that Guts had confided his desire to leave to Casca and Judea and I was the last to know. Well that was going to change I vowed as I carried Guts through the snow, leaving a trail of blood behind us.


End file.
